Eat Your Ice Cream

“Our goal should not be to outlive as many people as possible. Instead, the goal should be to live a healthy and fulfilling life.” — Dr. Ezekiel J. Emanuel

Have you noticed that “maxxing” seems to be everywhere? There is looksmaxxing—trying to perfect our appearance. Healthmaxxing—optimizing every bite of food, every workout, every hour of sleep. Even lifemaxxing—trying to squeeze maximum productivity out of every day. The message is always the same: if we just improve ourselves a little more, we’ll finally arrive.

I realized recently that I was falling into that trap myself. I was reading everything I could find about longevity, taking notes on nutrition, exercise, inflammation, brain health, sleep, and the latest research. Every week there seemed to be one more thing I “should” be doing. I wasn’t becoming unhealthy—I was becoming preoccupied with being healthy. It was stressful. Somewhere along the way, I had stopped asking a simple question: Am I actually enjoying my life?

It turns out I’m not alone. Years ago, psychologist Barry Schwartz found that people who constantly search for the very best—the maximizers—are often less happy than those who choose something that is “good enough” and enjoy it. The endless search for the perfect choice can rob us of satisfaction with the one we’ve already made.

Perhaps that’s why there seems to be a cultural shift underway lately. More people are stepping back from perfectionism and returning to simple, sustainable habits that support a good life instead of consuming it.

That is what drew me to Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel’s delightful book, Eat Your Ice Cream. The title isn’t permission to ignore your health. It’s a reminder that healthy living is the means, not the end. The goal isn’t to have the perfect body or the perfect blood work. The goal is to build a life so rich in purpose, friendship, curiosity, and joy that you can occasionally enjoy an ice cream cone without guilt.

Interestingly, the latest longevity research doesn’t really disagree. Harvard Health recently summarized five pillars of healthy aging: movement, good nutrition, adequate sleep, stress management, and social connection. Dr. David Barzilai, a longevity physician, says the most underrated pillar is social connection. We carefully protect our workouts and count our steps, yet often fail to protect our friendships with the same commitment—even though strong relationships are among the best predictors of a long and healthy life.

That brings us back to Emanuel. One of his favorite suggestions is socialize.  Host a dinner party. Why? Because it isn’t just about the meal. Planning, cooking, laughing, listening, and lingering around the table nourish something that no supplement ever will. The healthiest part of the evening may not be the food. It may be the friendships.

But for those of us who want to go ahead and literally eat ice cream on occasion, the experts say, go ahead. That makes me think of my grandson, Eli. He recommends Doane’s Valley Pharmacy’s Soda Fountain in Cashmere. When I asked why, his answer was immediate: “Because they put ice cream all the way down into the cone.” 

So yes, take the walk. Eat your vegetables. Get enough sleep. Those habits matter. But don’t spend so much time trying to perfect your looks or optimize your health that you forget why you’re doing it in the first place. Build a life filled with life.

Then eat your ice cream. Preferably with friends.

Some Ideas:

• Socialize and move together. Go on a hike with friends or find some on the way. My husband, John, likes that one in Nahahum we call the cell tower walk.  Even if he doesn’t start out with friends, he’ll find some on the way. I show up for SAIL (Stay Active and Independent for Life) class or walk around town and say hello to folks. 
• Socialize and challenge your brain a bit (and give yourself an excuse to clean up your house), host a weekly dinner party during the upcoming cooler harvest months. It’s soup time. 
• Socialize and relax.  Put on your jacket and go to a football game, take a library watercolor class, go to the weekly community dinner at the Cashmere Community Church. Meet up with others who enjoy the same activity. 
• Socialize with a special treat. Invite someone to Doane’s or your favorite ice cream shop (Eli likes Plain Grocery Store’s cones too).  Or add some apple, peach, cherry, or pumpkin pie (I can vouch for the Big Y Cafe for these!) 
• Practice a little sufficing …a bit of “good enough” and put things in perspective. Let go of at least one mental beating this week and simply enjoy the moment. Maybe you lingered over Monday morning coffee and only had time to exercise for thirty minutes instead of sixty. Did any babies die on your watch? If not, take a breath, and enjoy being alive. 

How might we move up to the Good Life by spending a little less time trying to perfect it and a little more time enjoying it…especially with people we love?